Blissful Marriage (2)

Importance of Marriage in Islam

I have often heard people saying that marriage is fardh and it is only the second, third and fourth marriage which is sunnah. According to the Qur’an, it is not fardh but something which highly encouraged:

You shall encourage those of you who are single to get married. They may marry the righteous among your male and female servants, if they are poor. Allah (SWT will enrich them from His grace. Allah (SWT) is Bounteous, Knower. [24:32]

And the relationship is so beautiful that Allah (SWT) actually gives it as a ‘proof’ of his own existence.

Among His proofs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves, in order to have tranquility and contentment with each other, and He placed in your hearts love and care towards your spouses. In this, there are sufficient proofs for people who think. [30:21]

No wonder you start caring for your spouse the time you decide to get married to him/her. You never see that clause on the nikah but yet your happiness some how starts depending upon your spouse’s happiness.

Mahr (Dowry)

And give the women (on marriage) their dower as a free gift; but if they, of their own good pleasure, remit any part of it to you, Take it and enjoy it with right good cheer. [4:4]

But if ye decide to take one wife in place of another, even if ye had given the latter a whole treasure for dower, Take not the least bit of it back: Would ye take it by slander and manifest wrong? And how could ye take it when ye have gone in unto each other, and they have Taken from you a solemn covenant? [4:20-21]

As can been seen from the verses, Mahr is not to be given only at the time of divorce. It is a promise of a gift from the husband to the wife and must be according to the woman’s wishes. She may ask for a few verses of the Qur’an to be recited or a whole mountain of gold.

Now, as it is a promise, it becomes a debt on the husband to give his wife the Mahr that he agreed upon at the time of Nikah and must be paid according to the conditions set initially. If the Mahr is deferred as per the condition, it must be paid before the marriage dissolves. A marriage can dissolve in two ways: divorce or death of either of the two. Most people would pay Mahr at the time of divorce but do not think about paying Mahr in the second instance. As established earlier, Mahr is like a debt, it HAS to be paid by the husband unless the woman decides not to take it (as can be seen in 4:4 stated above).

If the man dies all his debts, including unpaid Mahr has to be paid before everyone gets their share of inheritance. If the woman dies, Mahr must be distributed amongst her heirs.

Allah (thus) directs you as regards your Children’s (Inheritance): to the male, a portion equal to that of two females: if only daughters, two or more, their share is two-thirds of the inheritance; if only one, her share is a half. For parents, a sixth share of the inheritance to each, if the deceased left children; if no children, and the parents are the (only) heirs, the mother has a third; if the deceased Left brothers (or sisters) the mother has a sixth. The distribution in all cases  after the payment of legacies and debts. Ye know not whether your parents or your children are nearest to you in benefit. These are settled portions ordained by Allah. and Allah is All-knowing, All-wise. [4:11]

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7 thoughts on “Blissful Marriage (2)

  1. I’ve seen two kinds of people. One who give too much money as mehr because its on the nikkah nama and is read out during the whole process. The other kind, there is a set rate say Rs.5100. Its a standard rate set more than 30 years ago and the funny thing is that it doesnt take into account the rate of inflation. Right. Like mehr is a joke. feminists should actually fight for their rights here, where God’s given them the right.

  2. I haven’t studied much about Mehr, is it what the wife wishes or is it what the husband can afford? And is it what the husband wants to give that wife should accept or is it the other way round?

  3. @ Doe
    well women need to speak up. obviously the mehr needs to be reasonable but it must be kept in mind that its not like giving a ‘value’ to urself. a lot of the people think that the bigger the amount of mehr, the better the woman. if the woman asks for a few verses of the Qur’an as her mehr, it does not mean she wasnt worth anything.

    @ Haris
    well both. being a woman, the bride can always have a rough idea of how much mehr would be acceptable to her…as in the lowest amount. the groom, on the other hand, must have an upper limit too as per his monthly income. If these two dont match or cant compromise on an amount, obviously both of them need to find someone else. but as per the Qur’an, it is the woman who has the final word of say in this regard. If an amount is not acceptable to her, she can even reject the proposal. And it is up to her to decide wen she wants it or even let go of the whole amount. another beautiful right given to women in islam. Only if people studied more, they would know how liberal our religion is!!

    • So Mehr is something that needs to be decided at the time of accepting the proposal? And the amount is only due after the Nikah. And our society only informs girls of what their Mehr would be. They don’t even get to think if thats a just amount or not…

      • exactly, its one of the things that need to be discussed very explicitly at the time of making the decision…obviously the girl herself ‘might’ not care too much about the ‘amount’ or the money itself (or in most cases she might actually be very interested) but its a right that the religion gives her and has been very conveniently taken away from her

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