How To Recognise & Deal With Toxic Friends

The word toxic means “poisonous”, a condition that is particularly used to describe anything that causes a lot of harm & unhappiness over a longer period of time. Similarly, the term toxic friends are used to describe such friends who are not your well-wishers & at points they cripple you from inside hence putting your life on the verge of troubles.

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Here I am going to share some signs that will help you to identify your toxic friends.

How to recognize Toxic Friends?

Have you ever wondered what might be the immediate cause of your failure or a decrease in your self-confidence? Are your friends repeatedly taunting you or making fun of your abilities in front of others?

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If yes, then this is the best time to recognize your toxic friends & deal with them smartly.

  • Think about a situation in your life where your friends have conveyed such criticism to you that made you feel smaller & even embarrassed in front of others. This is the biggest sign of a toxic friend who leaves no room for your praise in crowds.
  • They play with your weak points & disclose your secrets for gaining other people’s sympathies.
  • They are self-centered and bully you repeatedly. This condition can psychologically affect your mental & physical abilities.

How to deal with Toxic friends?

Dealing with toxic friends is not as easy as you might have thought. The key rule here is to never let the negativity of your friend to enter your mind. Take their gossips and criticism lightly as their ruthless nature will never go away. Always try to keep your good news with yourself.

The next step is to find humor in smaller things when you are with your toxic friends. Although it might not be an easy task but you can still laugh at your silly mistakes & crack a joke about it with your friends. This small effort will change your attitude & you will develop the capability of facing the challenges with a good behavior.

“If they do it often, it isn’t a mistake; it’s just their behavior” By Dr.Steve

 

 

 

 

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How To Reduce Screen Time For Kids

Reducing screen time has been a hot topic in this digital age, and that’s a given since other electronic items have been thrown into the mix which are easily portable and hence even more hard screen to control! We all know more screen time is bad for us and children, but how exactly are they bad? There are numerous bad habits linked to too much TV or video games.

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While some may argue that video games makes the mind more active because of its puzzles and tactics, too much of anything is very bad. For decades scientists and doctors have cautioned parents and adults alike about the harmful benefits of too much screen time. It can lead to childhood obesity, poor sleeping habits and social issues. A study done in UCLA also showed that too much screen time can effect the child’s ability to recognize emotions and other non-verbal signs.

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Now that we have established the importance of reducing screen time, how do we reduce it? Naturally parents and babysitters will face a lot of resistance and agitation from the kids due to cutting off their screen time. So how do we reduce screen time and get a happy kid in return too? Sounds impossible. Almost.

Following are some of the points to help you in your journey in reducing screen time for kids (and keep them from not chewing your head off in the process):

1. Reduce your screen time first

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As heartbreaking as it may sound, to help your kids you also have to bid farewell to your phones, tablets, computers and TV time. It’s all about setting the right example for your kids. Moreover, if too much screen time is bad for your kids, it must be bad for you too right? Adults suffering from too much screen time also face obesity and other health issues. If you’re always hooked to your gadgets, then your kids will deem it a normal occurrence and follow in your footsteps.

2. Encourage other activities

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Whenever your kids get free time always provide them with non-electronic resources to pass their time. It can be a simple house chore, or any sport, board games, puzzles, reading and arts and crafts among other things. This will keep them occupied and keep their mind sharp too.

3. Limited Screen time

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Allow screen time after the kids have done something productive. Some parents change the wifi everyday and only give the password when they’ve done something worthy. Moreover, limit their time to 30 40 minutes depending on the circumstances. Make it a routine so they stop complaining and do other activities like sports, reading, arts etc. This way they will also have a healthy balance between screen time and other activities and won’t get bored or agitated. Which is a win-win situation right?

Headless Women of Bollywood- The Final Verdict

We have discussed the liberalization of Indian cinema that introduced a headless woman to plush cinema halls. Our artists agree to choose their bodies for self-objectification even when their script doesn’t suit their egos. In our previous posts, we have given a number of examples of such movie posters that are merely designed for public’s sexual attraction.

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Although we agree that Bollywood emerged as the multiplex capital of the world with its breath-taking movies in 1990’s but gradually Bollywood turned its ship to generate revenue by self-objectifying female artists hence crippling the moralities of Indian society. Thanks to the headless moment that opened our eyes as to how women’s fragmented (hyper-sexualized) body parts are used to sell movies.

Breaking all the norms of Bollywood traditions, directors are struggling to earn as much business as possible without taking into the consideration the impact of a headless woman on the society.

Impact on Society:

The Indian society has already suffered from moral setbacks in ancient times where a woman was merely used as a sex symbol. The headless women in Bollywood movie posters have brought back the concept of objectifying a woman sexually but in a new way. What a shame it is! Have you wondered why rape cases & domestic violence are increasing day by day?

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It is understood that Bollywood movies (being the strongest communication tool for public) are not teaching our men to respect or value a woman’s character in general. The headless posters of Bollywood movies may exaggerate sexual impulses of a man to an extent that he is less likely to control his desires and rape a woman.

Concluding the series of Headless woman of Bollywood, I suggest my readers boycott such hyper-sexualized movie posters that degrade a women’s character to help bring a maximum loss for such movies. Our female artists shall also not choose to self-objectify their body parts as most of them are a role model for a society.

I will not say that a women have no character; rather, they have a new one everyday.  By Heinrich Heini 

Ti’s The Season For Weddings

As time is progressing, pakistani weddings have become bigger and larger. Now people want designer wear and creative dance floors only to have a wedding that not only the guests will remember for a long time but will also look better than any other on Instagram and Pinterest. But with pomp and aplomb comes a heavy price that young, newly married couples can hardly afford. Here is a list of 10 trendy items that you can have for your wedding which will not cost you an arm.

1. Customised mehndi/mayon jewellery

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2. Customised paranda to go with your mehndi/mayon jewellery

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3. Little matki- can be used to keep ubtan or just as a little prop to spice up the decor

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4. Customised diyas

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5. Mehndi Thaal

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6. Potli Pouches

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7. Nikah pen and rasam key pattey

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8. Doodh pilai rasam glass

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9. Arsi mushaf mirror

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10. Gift boxes and baskets

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Please note this is not a sponsored post but a recommendation.

All the pictures used in this post are provided by Huma Ashraf. She is a crafter who has turned her passion into her very successful business venture. She is a single mother of a young girl and with her hard work has become a source of inspiration for a lot of other girls around her. She can be contacted via her Facebook page.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Best Gift To Give This Eid

Please note this is not a sponsored post.

While Eidi envelopes will never go out of fashion, gift baskets have become a trend over the years as well. Gift baskets are a blessing for a person like me who can take hours and hours to think of a gift and still not be happy with it.

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The best thing about gift baskets is that you can tailor your basket to the theme, person or type of event.

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This Eid you can give a customised Eid basket to your loved ones and there are so many reasons for it:

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  1. They are quick, easy and low cost.
  2. They can contain the kind of quality of products that fits your budget.
  3. They are fun to open.
  4. Can be personalised for the recipient so you always know that your gift will not go in waste.
  5. Usually include products that can be consumed easily and can have both edible and non edible items.

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The pictures have been graciously provided to us by Zara Hayat. She specialises in customised gift baskets for all occasions. I have personally used her services. She listens to the client, is quick with her response and her finished product is of high quality. She can be contacted via her Facebook page.

 

What not to do when meeting relatives a d friends over this Eid ul Fitr

As we approach the end of Ramadan and still try to guess when exactly Eid is, let’s try and make this Eid beautiful not only for ourselves but also for others around us by knowing what not to say.

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None of us mean to say the wrong thing but sometimes we just do especially when we meet our extended family after several months. Sometimes we meet new faces as families expand, or even unexpected guests. Now that I am older, I also see myself sometimes passing the irritating comment, ‘Arey masha allah tum kitney Barry ho gaye.’ It happens to everyone. We often end up asking questions that seem entirely innocent to us but can hurt and/or irritate the other person emotionally.

In the list below I share some of the questions that are not as polite as we might think they are.

What not to ask people this Eid ul Fitr or any other party? 

  1. Do not ask anyone when they are getting married. People might be looking aggressively for an appropriate rishta and sometimes finding a suitable rishta is not easy. And no, it’s not suitable to tell them about certain single women who you think might be extremely lonely. There is no point in showing the grim side of not being married. Sometimes, they do not want to get married any time soon and they have other plans. At times it gets so infuriating that many young adults do not want to join their family during ‘House hopping’.
  2. Do not ask others when they might be having kids. Infertility issues, miscarriages or sometimes just not planning a child might be the reason for a couple not having a child. Other people reproductive health and decisions are none of your business. You don’t know who is dealing with infertility or grieving miscarriages or struggling with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship issues or who might not be in a position to have their ‘next’ child straight away. You don’t know your seemingly innocent question might cause some people grief, pain or stress. This is one question you must stay away from.
  3. Do not comment on anyone’s weight. You can simply say, ‘It’s so good to see you.’ We will surely meet someone who might lost a bit too much weight or someone who has drastically gained a lot of weight. Weight is sometimes not just about being lazy or over indulgence. Whether you believe it or not, it’s not necessary at all to tell someone about how bad they look due to their weight. They probably do have mirrors at home and know exactly how they look. Their weight is their business. Some people are confident and secure in whatever their weight may be. Some people are struggling. So it’s best to avoid any conversation that revolves around weight.
  4. If you meet a young child, do not ask them who their favourite family member is or who they love most. Love is a huge word and it’s meaning can’t possibly be understood by a young child. Also do not force them to eat something. Nut/gluten allergies are more common than you might think so let the parents choose what they want their kids to eat.
  5. This one is also a basic etiquette that you must have when meeting a young child. Do not say, ‘hug/kiss me and I will give you a treat.’ Please do not invade a child’s private space. They are still learning about trust and do not tell the child that its alright to bribe for certain ‘favours’

So yea, that’s about it. Sometimes empathy is more important than anything else. And the best thing about it is that it doesn’t cost anything.

Neurological disorders explained: Autism

I recently watched a TV show called ‘The Good Doctor’ – a story of an autistic medical resident with supernormal intelligence. The show highlighted the challenges and prejudices the young doctor had to face in his field because of his conditions. Lucky for him, his genius mind made things easier for him.
The truth, however, is slightly different. Not all children born with autism are so lucky.

Autism is a group of disorders that affect a child’s ability to socialize, empathize and communicate with those around him. Social, speech and behavioral problems make it difficult for autistic children to cope with the ever-changing tides of the society.

Although seldom seen (or perhaps diagnosed) in Pakistan, the condition requires attentions and knowledge to improve the child’s life. The Autism Society of Pakistan estimates a total of 350k autistic children in the country.
The important question is: is there a cure? Like most mental illnesses, there is no complete treatment for autism. However, there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

With proper therapy and intervention, the burden of social challenges these children face can be minimized. It’s important to realize that treatment options for autistic children not only include their personal therapy but also the education of the people around him so that he is treated with greater kindness and understanding. A major problem autistic children face is bullying in schools which makes the disorder even more stressful.

If you know a child with autism, make sure he is brought to medical attention and not hidden away as an ‘abnormal’ child as is mostly done in the country. With therapy and the support of loved ones, autism can be less of a nightmare for both the child and his family.
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